Thai Massage for Men or Women – Is There a Difference?

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In this article, I’ll discuss if there’s a difference between giving Thai Massage to a man or a women. In addition, I will also talk about the client’s perspective, that is, being a man or woman, does it make a difference if you’d receive Thai Massage from a man or woman?

It sounds perhaps all somewhat arbitrary, because … we are all human beings and bodies after all, so why would the question of man or woman in either receiving or giving Thai Massage matter? Now, in a general sense that’s true, but nevertheless there are some important differences depending on the situation.

Physical Aspects

On the physical level the difference becomes immediately obvious. That is, commonly, men are larger, heavier, more muscular than women, which means that it takes much more energy and strength from the Thai Massage therapist to give an effective massage to men compared to giving it to women.

However, as Thai Massage has this incredibly large toolset, the therapist can choose from different techniques to do more or less the same thing. For instance, with a woman it could be sufficient to give deep acupressure on her thighs with the thumbs, but with very large and muscular male thighs it could be needed to give acupressure with the elbows or knees to get some good results. Hence, as a Thai Massage therapist you would probably use other massage techniques with men compared to women to achieve the same goal.

Having said that, there are of course likewise large, heavy, and muscular women, and alternatively also small, light, and not so muscular men. So, what’s said in the previous paragraph is about the more common physique of men and women we find in daily life. Yet, there are always (plenty) exceptions.

Apart from changing the massage techniques to achieve the same result, there are also techniques you can simply not do for very large men. For instance, certain lifts, stretches, pulls, and turns of a large and heavy male body would become extremely difficult to perform for the masseur, which counts for both a male and female Thai masseur. You could say that the more “acrobatic style” of Thai Massage is rather reserved for small and light bodies.

Another thing that matters is that a Thai masseur will not massage the breasts of a woman because of the erotic connotation (unless it’s specifically consented to and an agreed part of the [therapeutic] treatment). However, typically the breast of men will be massaged as this part is usually not considered a male erogenous zone. The same counts somewhat for the buttocks, although many Thai masseurs (and clients) don’t really make a fuss about it. Yet, it’s always good to be clear beforehand about the treatment of “potentially erotic zones” through some form of mutual consent.

As for precautions and contraindications there are some additional points to take into considerations when giving a session to women. The massage techniques used and/or the massage positions taken by the receiver will be different if a women is pregnant, postpartum, or is on her period.

Biologically, the genital internal organs in the abdominal and pelvic area are also dissimilar between men and women, so the way the therapist performs a massage will certainly be somewhat different for that region depending on the receiver being male or female.

Emotional Aspects

Then there’s the emotional level. Women (or those who feel woman, regardless of their biological physique) are generally more open or already inclined to experience Thai Massage as a holistic treatment in which body and mind are interconnected. That is, women often intuitively or consciously understand that trauma or distressing emotions are reflected in the body as tensions, contractions, constrictions, hardness, hypersensitivity, and/or adhesions, or by contrast reflect as numbness or disconnection, and so on.

Subsequently, working on and releasing those physical issues through Thai Massage often has an immediate emotional/psychological effect in the form of trauma or emotional release. Moreover, there are quite some women who specifically take Thai Massage sessions to achieve emotional relief and balance.

Hence, my experience is that in the work with women there are more psychosomatic aspects to deal with compared to working with men (or those who feel man, regardless of their biological physique). The latter usually simply come for a session to experience physical relaxation, relief, or release of pains, tensions, and constrictions without bothering much about the “emotional side.” Of course, there are likewise men who are very aware of psychosomatic connections, as there are women who are not at all.

Receiving Thai Massage from a Man or Woman

Here, it’s basically the “other side of the coin,” that is, there are men or women who rather receive Thai Massage from a man to physically “feel more” and gain more results. And there are those who rather receive the “more gentle touch” of a female therapist. Yet, as always, there are of course also exceptions: very gentle male masseurs and very tough female masseuses.

As for working on the emotional level, both men and women generally prefer massage from a female therapist. It’s because of an ingrained believe that women are more sensitive and better equipped to deal with the emotional side of things. This is of course likewise a generalization. Nevertheless, it’s often true that female masseurs approach their work automatically with inclusion of both the interconnected physical and emotional issues.

Moreover, women generally prefer a female masseur to take out the “sexual factor,” that is, to feel more at ease during a session. Then there are also men who prefer a female therapist, not for the softer or emotional side of the work, but just because they feel awkward to be massaged by another man.

There’s also the aspect of sexual orientation. Gay men, for instance, may prefer working with a gay masseur (or perhaps lesbian masseur) because they have the feeling (and often the actual experience) that gay or lesbian therapists would understand their needs better, apart from not wanting to be judged (and feel extremely uneasy) because of their sexual orientation. Of course, this discussion can also be translated to those who don’t align with classical male or female gender identities.

Anyway, as a more general rule, I have noticed that LGBTQ friendly bodywork is highly in demand by those who identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community.

In Conclusion

As we have seen in the previous discussion, there are quite some reasons — from out the perspective of the Thai Massage therapist — why there are differences between massaging either a man or a woman.

Alternatively, for cisgender male and female, agender, or transgender clients or for clients with a heterosexual or perhaps non-traditional sexual orientation, there are likewise motives why they would prefer receiving a massage from either a male or female masseur or an agender or transgender masseur, and/or from one who identifies as a member of the LGBTQ+ community.

As a rule, we can see that the differences are caused by physical (biological), emotional (psychological), sexual orientation, and/or gender characteristics, but it’s important to keep in mind that these are just generalizations not to be taken for granted.

There are always plenty of exceptions and therefore it’s important for both the therapist and the client to keep an open mind, while discerning what’s best for them, and acknowledging that every situation, therapist, or client is unique and deserves diligent ascertainment.

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